| | Sometimes I don't understand myself or my life very well. It honestly thoroughly confuses me on a daily basis but I find that I learn new things about me everyday, for better or for worse.
I'm listening to the song "Unwell" by Matchbox 20 and it reminds me of who I once was. That used to be my theme song. I was so outwardly a mess and inwardly as well. I don't claim that I'm not one now but I don't think it's the same. I can control myself better on the outside, and I am learning how to at least maintain myself I think. Or how to handle my moods, my outward emotions... though I have moments where I slid back into my old scary self.
Is that called growth ? And are we ever truly satisfied with ourselves ? I don't really know. I wonder sometimes but I do know that at the very least as sad as I am sometimes, I think I'm a little happier than I was a few years ago. And that's at the very least an accomplishment.
I still don't understand what it is that makes me take certain things so personally. It is a character flaw I'll have to continually work on but I realize that people do what they need to, to get by and feel contented themselves. Their opinions or actions are not always a reflection on you, but on themselves and their needs. I just have to learn on applying that to my own emotions.
Eh. What has me in this mood this morning ? A number of things actually. A lot of people I know dealing with a lot of heartache and things. My own internal musings over a few things. Just one of those days I guess where I think a lot. Good luck to the rest of the world in dealing with me. ^_^;
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| | Posted 3/24/2009 9:28 AM - 3 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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